The Cursed Boombox
by WolfBloodBaptism
Summary: Beast Boy brings home a boombox that he doesn't realized is cursed! A series of one-shots based around the boombox and the songs it plays. Rated 'T' for explicit song lyrics and inuendos.
1. Chapter 1: Boombox of Erised

**Chapter One: The Boombox of Erised**

_**Time Line: Season One**_

**(Can't Get Enough of Your Love – Barry White)**

'Twas a beautiful day in sunny Jump City. The birds were singing, dogs and cats playfully chased each other in circles, and random strangers thought nothing of giving a fond hello to those they see on the streets. Inside the large T-shaped building housing the illustrious superheroes known as the Teen Titans, all was as it should be. The alien princess of Tamaran, Starfire, was cooking inedible food-at least to humans-in the open kitchen, humming happily to herself. The half-demon sorceress, Raven, was quietly reading a very large book while floating in front of the windows overlooking the sparkling ocean. The cybernetic hero Cyborg and the Boy Wonder Robin were currently nose-to-nose as they duked it out on the latest GameStation fighting game. All was as it should be...

But wait, where was the changeling, Beast Boy? Why is he not with his friends on this most glorious of days? Because, dear readers, our favorite green hero was on his way back from the city, holding a bag of tofu in one hand, and a large previously-owned boombox in the other, grinning happily to himself. _'Dude, I can't wait to get back, they're gonna freak at the sweet radio I picked up!'_ he thought to himself, singing a popular song out of key. _'First a special hero discount at the vegan shop, then a new electronics store opens up? Best day ever!'_ And he quickly made his way home.

Arriving at the common room, he was greeted by a bone-crushing hug-quite literally, unfortunately-from Starfire. As she let go with a quick apology and a smile, everybody gathered around to look at the new addition to the technological marvel that was the Titan Tower. "Yo, grass stain, where'd you get the sweet 'box?" Cyborg asked, looking appraisingly at said appliance. "Looks pretty sweet and retro."

"I know, dude, and it works perfectly and everything!" Beast Boy exclaimed, sliding the bag of tofu across the floor to the kitchen. "There was this new store in town, called Erised's Electronics or something like that, and I got this thing for way cheap!"

After being told to plug it in by everybody but the disinterested Raven, Beast Boy made his way over next to the big screen TV still showing the pause screen of Cyborg and Robin's game. Unfortunately, right as Beast Boy plugged in the power cord, his green gaze caught Raven's amethyst, and the boombox started playing the smooth voice of Barry White.

"_**I've heard people say that**_

_**Too much of anything is not good for you, baby**_

_**Oh no**_

_**But I don't know about that**_

_**There's many times that we've loved**_

_**We've shared love and made love**_

_**It doesn't seem to me like it's enough**_

_**There's just not enough of it**_

_**There's just not enough**_

_**Oh oh, babe."**_

The room was silent. No noise from the ocean waves. If birds were singing, it wasn't for a fifty mile radius. The world seemed to hold it's very breath as green eyes stared at amethyst. Slowly a blush settled over the grey skin of Raven. Then chaos erupted.

Beast Boy found himself sailing through the window and towards the rocky beach several stories below as every light bulb on that floor exploded. Raven covered her head in her hood and melted through the floor and appeared in her room. Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg ducked for cover and hid wherever they thought was safe.

Several minutes passed like days as things quieted down. Robin came out from the cupboard under the sink, small wash cloths covering his head and shoulders. Starfire floated down from a nearby air duct, eyes searching the area in barely contained fear. Cyborg poked his head out from under the couch, though how he fit nobody thought to wonder.

"I-is it safe now, friends?" Starfire asked quietly, voice barely a whisper. "I have not been this scared since my sister released a hungry glorflaxik in my room and started eating my bed."

Robin just nodded. Nothing Batman had him train for ever came close to the terrible power Raven displayed.

Slowly, Cyborg stood up, glancing around the room. Sighing, all he said was, "I guess I'll go get the green bean and replace the lights."

* * *

><p><strong>Oooh, look, it's a wild Author's Note! Go, Titan Ball!<strong>

**...**

**You caught a wild Author's Note!**

**Alrighty then. This is the first in a series of partial one-shots based around a cursed boombox that Beast Boy buys from a new electronics store. I say partial one-shots because the only thing that they'll have in common is the boombox.**

**Five white-chocolate-macadamia-nut-cookies, homemade, to the first person that figures out where I got the name 'Erised'. **

**Also, I will take suggestions. Just give me a song, one non-Beast Boy character, and a genre (optional) that you'd like to see. **

** ~WolfBloodBaptism**


	2. Chapter 2: 'Friendly' Rivalry

**Chapter Two: "Friendly" Rivalry**

_**Time Line: Season One**_

**(You're Going Down – Sick Puppies)**

The dark of night swept Jump City into it's arms like a kind grandmother, gently rocking her grandchild to sleep. All across town, people slept peacefully in their beds, knowing that the proud heroes living across the bay would protect them from all harm.

However, little did the citizens of Jump City know that the peace they felt this night was not shared with two of their heroes. The changeling Beast Boy and the acrobatic Robin were having a late-night training session, which Robin thought was necessary. Beast Boy just wanted to get it over with and sleep, but the Boy Wonder kept taunting him into action.

"Come on, Beast Boy!" Robin yelled, throwing a punch to the green hero's gut that was narrowly avoided. "You can do better than this! Quit dodging and fight back!"

After an hour of having his green backside handed to him, Beast Boy snapped. With an angry yell, he quickly changed into a green gorilla and connected with a punch that felt like a freight train hit Robin. Gasping for the breath that was propelled from his lungs, Robin just grinned and pulled out his bo staff. Not giving the gorilla time to think, he jumped into the air and started fighting with his all.

Unknown to the two combatants, the boombox that was lying in the corner of the training room started blaring out a hard Alternative Rock song.

"_**Define your meanin' of war**_

_**To me its what we do when we're bored**_

_**I feel the heat comin' off of the blacktop**_

_**And it makes me want it more**_

_**Because I'm hyped up, outta control**_

_**If its a fight I'm ready to go**_

_**I wouldn't put my money on the other guy**_

_**If you know what I know oughta know**_

_**It's been a long time comin'**_

_**And the tables' turned around**_

_**'Cause one of us is goin'**_

_**One of us is goin' down"**_

The fight raged out of control, with Robin fighting with his entire arsenal and Beast Boy quickly changing from one animal to another, giving hits as good as he took. His long elephant trunk tossed Robin into the wall, only to have him jump back and toss a freezing disk at his feet. The changeling quickly transformed into a humming bird to escape the blast and flew above Robin. Turning himself into a small Orca Whale, Beast Boy dropped down quick, with Robin jumping out of the way at the last minute. Both panted heavily as Beast Boy changed back into his human self, glancing up at his leader. Then they heard the radio.

"_**This is hardly worth fighting for**_

_**But it's the little petty shit that I can't ignore**_

_**When my fist hits your face**_

_**And your face hits the floor**_

_**It'll be a long time comin'**_

_**But you got the message now**_

_**'Cause I was never goin'**_

_**Yeah, you're the one that's goin' down"**_

They looked at each other, eyebrows raised questioningly, before bursting out with laughter, each realizing the appropriateness of the song playing. Finally, after several minutes of trying to control themselves, Robin walked over and hit the stop button. "Come on, man, let's get a drink and get to bed," Robin said, smiling at his teammate. Beast Boy just nodded and walked out with his new friend, neither noticing that the cord on the boombox was unplugged...

* * *

><p><strong>I'd like to thank all the supporters of this little story-type-thing. I've gotten some requests, and I just wanna say 'thanks dude'. Unfortunately, I guess I kinda didn't properly explain myself in the last chapter, and I take all the blame for that. This story is about <em>Beast Boy<em> and the situations he gets into with the boombox. When I asked for a request, I was really meaning to have a BB/? request doen with any of the other Titans and a specific song. I'll go through all the requests I got and see if I can turn them into a songfic with our favorite green changeling, but I'll ask people to submit different requests with a better format. Once again, I am not blaming any of you at all, it is entirely my fault and I apologize. I hope you can forgive me. Please?**

**Pairing: BB/(enter Titan here)  
>Song: (Enter song here)<br>Genre: (Enter genre here, optional)**

**~WolfBloodBaptism**


	3. Chapter 3: Dress Up Time

**Chapter Three: Dress Up Time**

_**Time Line: Season One**_

**(Barbie Girl – Aqua)**

Greetings, dear readers, as we take a trip into the unknown, into the realm of imagination. Where up is down, right is left, cats and dogs live in peace, and a green changeling is being given a make over by an alien princess.

That's right, my friends. After much begging, pleading, and using every ploy she knew, Starfire finally convinced Beast Boy to play dress up with her.

"Do I really have to put on the wig, Star?" Beast Boy asked pleadingly, staring down at the offending hair piece. "I just don't think that I'd look good with blue hair."

"But friend Beast Boy, blue is totally your color!" Starfire exclaimed, taking the wig from his hands and putting it on his head. Gushing, she told him, "Oh, you look simply wonderous! Go gaze in the glass of looking and see for yourself!" Turning him around, she pushed him to the large mirror across from her bed, grinning happily.

Beast Boy's look was decidedly less joyful than his friend's.

Purple eye shadow covered his eye lids, with black eye liner making the green in his eyes pop out. A rosy blush covered his cheeks, and ruby red lipstick was applied generously upon his lips. To top it all off, a neon blue wig done up in pig-tails with pink bows rested upon his head, covering his natural green hair. His outfit consisted of a sparkling pink spaghetti-strap top with a picture of a sleeping puppy on the chest, a long flowing pink skirt, stockings, and matching high heels. Two clip-on loop earrings completed the look.

Beast Boy was not a happy hero, no sir he wasn't.

The boombox sitting next to the closed door (how did that get there, I wonder...) started playing a song that just made Beast Boy even more miserable, if at all possible.

"_**I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie world**_

_**Life in plastic, it's fantastic**_

_**You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere**_

_**Imagination, life is your creation.**_

_**I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world**_

_**Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie**_

_**You're my doll, rock and roll, fell the glamor and pain**_

_**Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky"**_

Starfire squealed in joy as she jumped up and down in the bed, imaginary hearts floating over her head. "Oh, this music is simply amazing," she squeaked, almost driven speechless by the fun she was having. "I think you should make this your song of themes!"

Beast Boy looked at her with a terror-stricken face. "N-n-n-no, that's alright, Star, I think I'll be just find without doing that," he told her, trying to figure out a way to escape without hurting her feelings.

Just then, a knock came from the other side of the door, along with Cyborg's voice. "Yo, Star, you seen BB? I wanna kick his butt on the new Mega Monkey game!" he yelled. This was not what said BB wanted, not even close. The terror on his face increased as he backed up next to the window.

_'Gotta get outta here!'_ he yelled to himself, eyes glancing from one direction to another. Just as Starfire opened the door, he found his way.

"Friend Beast Boy is in here with me, friend Cyborg," she said happily, inviting the tech-savvy hero into her room. Looking around, however, neither could find the green changeling. "He was right here just a moment ago, I swear by X'hal," she told her friend, picking up every piece of furniture to locate their missing companion. Neither noticed the slightly open window, nor the green sparrow flapping furiously away still with traces of make-up on it's face.


	4. Chapter 4: Best Friends

**Chapter Four: Best of Friends**

_**Time Line: Season One**_

**(If I Were Gay – Stephen Lynch)**

Greetings, my dear readers, as we delve into the depths of friendship, into what makes one man relate to another enough to enjoy performing actions of fun with each other. What makes this kind of relationship tick? Is it respect, a mutual awe of each other? Or is it a simple love of the activity? Perhaps the best answer can be found by watching two such friends on a Saturday afternoon as they sit in front of a large TV, brilliant lights and sudden explosions washing over their senses, taunts passed back and fourth.

"You ain't gonna pass me, you ain't gonna pass me, grass stain!" a half-cybernetic half-human teen said, thumbs frantically pushing the buttons on his GameStation controller. "There's no way you're gonna pass-What the? How'd you pass me?"

"It's all in my mad skills, dude!" a green boy with pointed ears and a fang hanging out of the left side of his face said, grinning in glee as the car he was controlling sped ahead of his friend's. "Just give up now, tin can, you can't compete with me!" They fell silent as they raced neck and neck, passing each other in an attempt to beat the other to the finish line.

As they got closer and closer, beads of sweat falling from their face, they listened as the boombox next to the TV started playing.

"_**Here we are, dear old friend**_

_**You and I, drunk again**_

_**Laughs have been had and tears have been shed**_

_**Maybe the whiskey's gone to my head**_

_**But if I were gay**_

_**I would give you my heart**_

_**And if I were gay**_

_**You'd be my work of art**_

_**And if I were gay**_

_**We would swim in romance**_

_**But I'm not gay**_

_**So get your hand out of my pants"**_

They grinned at first, as they found themselves portrayed in the song. Well, other than drinking, as they were both under the legal age and felt no pressure to try alcohol. However, as the song played on, they felt their jaws drop in horror. Both jumping up, they ran over to the boombox, colliding a foot away in a tangle of arms and legs. Their horror grew as the last part was played and they heard a voice call out from behind the couch in a monotone voice, hints of pleasure flitting around her voice.

"Huh, I always knew there was something between you two," Raven said before walking over to the kitchen for some tea, smiling to herself as months of blackmail was handed to her on a silver platter.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, I wasn't gonna do this, but I felt like giving you, my loyal minions (readers) another chapter, absolutely free. Why? Because I am a benevolent master (author) and I felt like it. Besides, I'm still trying to figure out what to do the fifth and final chapter for season one. I'm gonna go through all five seasons plus one for <em>Tokyo<em>, with five chapters per season (but only one for _Tokyo_). So, enjoy reading about the friendship of Beast Boy and Cyborg, and tell me what you think. Still accepting requests, but I would like to see more reviews (you always were good about that, FelynxTiger :3). So read and review, or the Boombox of Erised just might visit you :3**

**~WolfBloodBaptism  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5: Dance Mania

**Chapter Five: Dance Mania**

_**Time Line: Season One**_

**(Hips Don't Lie – Shakira)**

What happens when one is left alone, when one is not bound by peer pressure to be what one is not? Let us journey into the home of the Teen Titans as we find out how Beast Boy spends his time.

'_Alright, the other four are out shopping, I've got about an hour before they get back, time to put _Operation Dancing King_ to the test,_' Beast Boy thought, digging through the various CDs lined up next to the tower's impressive sound system. '_Nope, nuh-uh, not what I want, totally not a dance soundtrack._' He went through CD after CD, and found nothing. Finally admitting defeat, he slowly made his way over to the couch and collapsed on the soft cushions. "Of course, nobody has good music to dance to!" he whined, tossing his hands up in the air. "I thought that Starfire would have _something, _but _no_, nothing, nada, zip. What am I gonna do now?"

As he fumed to himself, he didn't notice the boombox next to the TV quietly come up and surf through the different stations. Finding an appropriate song, it turned the volume up loud and caught his attention.

"_**I never really knew she could dance like this**_

_**She make a man want to speak Spanish**_

_**Como se llama? Bonita, mi casa, su casa**_

_**(Shakira, Shakira)"**_

Beast Boy jumped up, a wide grin on his face as he yelped in delight. "Finally, a good dancing song!" he yelled, moving to the middle of the room.

He got into the song, pulling off various dance moves and singing along in a high-pitched voice. He was so into what he was doing that he never noticed the other four quietly walk into the room, their faces showing their amusement.

"_**I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie**_

_**And I'm starting to feel you boy**_

_**Come on let's go, real slow**_

_**Baby, like this is perfecto**_

_**Oh, you know i"m on tonight and my hips don't lie**_

_**And I'm starting to feel it's right**_

_**The attraction, the tension**_

_**Baby, like this is perfection"**_

As the song wound down, the four watching Titans broke out in applause and cat-calls, and even Raven couldn't hide her smile. Beast Boy's face went a dark shade of brown in embarrassment as he turned around stiffly. "Uh, guys...heh...You're back early...?" he managed to say before bolting to his room.

"Please tell me you got that on the security cameras, Cy," Robin said, an evil smile on is face that was quickly matched by the robotic hero.

"Oh, yeah," he simply said, thoughts of all the things they could get Beast Boy to do to keep it a secret running through their heads.


End file.
